What's your mom guilt, love?
I mean at this point in the game, every mom seems to have some form of guilt. So, what is yours?
I recently spoke to a friend, who after spending two days cooking, one-day cleaning and one day playing with her child she felt wrong putting her child on the Ipad so she can get a much-needed break. I often feel guilt when I'm on the computer trying to make my business dreams real while my son wants to play or read a book.
I haven't met a mom who doesn't feel the guilt from time to time. We push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion looking to be there for our child and everyone else for that matter.
Recently, I came to terms with my mom guilt. My son is 3. There is no way he is going to remember the times I was on the computer. According to research, children tend to forget experiences before the age of 7.
If he remembers anything about his childhood, it will be that I made him laugh. I'm not saying this concept of early amnesia gives me a reason to go buck wild and never talk to my child. I couldn't even imagine not spending quality time with him. However, it does mean that I can feel less guilt when I don't spend the extra thirty minutes reading the same book because I need to finish a blog post or something.
I make informed decisions about my time. I know that when I get home from work, I have to unwind before I can feel settled. So, I crank up the kid's tunes and dance it out with my little guy. Or, we work on a craft of some kind. Doing these kinds of activities gives me an hour to unwind doing something I love (spending time with my son). My son feels connected to me during this time, and we enjoy some quality time. Once that hour is up, I can go on with the rest of my evening whether its grading, writing a post or checking up on friends.
Is it always perfect?
Of course not. What in life is perfect?
I'm certainly not. My guilt isn't perfect either.
"Balance out the feeling of mom guilt with extra cuddles before bedtime. They will mostly remember the cuddles; they certainly won't remember your guilt."
There are days I don't think twice about whether I'm spending enough time with my son because I'm so busy and there are times where the idea of leaving him at daycare breaks my heart. I balance those moments out with extra long talks, extra reading time or extra cuddles before bed. I know there is no one auditing my time with my son. I am the one that places the guilt on myself even though it isn't necessary.
I’m gifting my readers a free coloring page download. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect mom for them.
So, what's your mom guilt darling? How do you balance the guilt feeling with the reality of everything you do?