Time For You!
If you regularly read my blog, you are a woman who always makes sure to make time for work, family, and friends but rarely take time for you. You will bust ass on the highway to make it work on time or give up on the to do list for when your child is sick. Somehow, you can make time for everything that comes at you. So, how can you tell yourself you have no time for you.
And you know what, I am right there with you!
External motivators, such as work, are restrictive and set expectations on your time. As mothers we are naturally focused on our children and their needs but who is there for us?
Over the past two months, my life has changed dramatically. I started a full-time job while working continuing to work two part-time jobs, running this business, and being there for my family. In no way am I writing this to complain? I love my life but it is a lot, and the point I want to get across is that like you I’m ridiculously busy and because of all those demands on my time I’ve neglected myself. I am so tired that I wake up feeling nervous just from the dreams I had the night before.
At some point, I realized that I was running non-stop to hide from myself. Yes, hide. It has been easier to be there for everything and everyone else so that I don’t have to focus on myself. It is comforting to join the conversation with all the other tired, stressed out, caffeine addicted moms. It feels good to know that I am not alone in my struggle and I can fit into the community because of it. I’m just tired of this process. I’m exhausted all the time and the only thing keeping me awake are the three cups of coffees.
Two weeks ago, I decided to make some changes. I reassessed my priorities and what is most important to me. I went back through my journals and realized that I made a decision two years ago to create a life I love and on my terms. Back then, I vowed not to let myself spiral down a black hole ever again (post-partum anxiety). So, I went back to basics.
Yes, I have kids and a husband who need me, but I created a plan that fits into my life and sets me up to honor and love myself daily.
I spent some time journaling my feelings and creating a clear picture of what I want for my life. I want a life that is centered, prosperous and peaceful. I created a morning and night routine that allows me to start and end my day with a strong mindfulness practice. I spend 5 minutes a day writing in my gratitude journal and another ten minutes stretching my body. In doing so, I created a practice that supports my mental, spiritual and physical needs in a manageable way. Yes, I have kids and a husband who need me, but I created a plan that fits into my life and sets me up to honor and love myself daily.
So, what can you learn from my story:
1. Define What “Me Time” Means to You
When I ask women how they manage to take me time, they look at me like I have three heads. They ask what is “me time”? I usually chuckle at this question because I think we have to believe “me time” needs to be a 24 hour day in a hotel room without your kids or partner. That doesn’t need to be the case. You have to define what me time is for you. It’s possible that you will feel fully refreshed by taking a 20-minute long shower when your child goes to sleep. It could mean you need two girl weekends away a year. You decide what me time looks and feels for you.
2. Schedule It
Make a cute name for your me time. I keep it simple and just say Mommy’s Time Off. Then schedule the time. Make it part of your commitments. Prioritize that time just like you would prioritize work or child’s doctor appointment. Your you time is just as important and requires your attention.
3. Stay In the Moment
Whether you gift yourself with five minutes a day or 5 days a year, work on focusing and enjoying the moment, which means you aren't spending your time checking in on your kids or thinking about a deadline or worrying over a bill. During your you time, you just focused on you and what you are doing at the moment.
At the end of this article, I’m leaving you with a journal page to complete. I am asking you to stop leaving yourself for last. With small changes and add-ons to your schedule, you can find a time that is just for you. Whatever you want to focus on during this period is possible and manageable. I urge you to make the time for you; you need to feel complete, happier and demonstrating self-love. What can you do to schedule at least 15 minutes a day for yourself?
Time For You Journal Page!