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Fears Preventing You From Transforming Your Life
This month I want to talk to you about creating a vision for the life you want. Setting a vision for your life is a critical step in transforming your life. However, if you are like the moms I work with, you want your life to be different but just don’t know where to start. You are working hard, you are raising children and you may have a significant other, so your life is already full but you feel the tug to do more, be more and experience more.
You want to transform your life but have no idea how that is going to happen.
Today, I want to address one very important obstacle that we all face before we can do anything any transformational work: The Fears that are Preventing You from making changes.
Fear is a b*****! I write about it often. Fear almost never goes away. We have millennia of conditioning to thank for these fearful thoughts. Our ancestors were fending off serious everyday dangers and we have used those feelings of fear to protect us. However, our fearful responses aren’t always warranted. We have conditioned ourselves to use fear as a way to prevent us from moving forward. We get locked into those feelings and prevent ourselves from moving forward.
We create the realities we live, by believing in it whatever we tell ourselves to be true, whether it is or isn’t so.
It is our job to separate the truth from whatever our mind makes up. It is our job to stop the bs loop that is in our head and focus on what is real. So, here I am to tell you three of the biggest fears we face and how they are preventing us from getting the life we want!
3 Ultimate Fears Preventing You From Transforming Your Life
1. You Fear Failure
This is the biggest one of all. The idea of failing at anything scares the crap out of most people. It paralyses us from doing those great big things that we always dream of doing. We are so afraid of doing something wrong that we would rather stay in the “comforts” of what we know.
I am currently reading the book You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. She speaks a lot about the fears that hold us back in life, specifically around money. However, a lot of what she says aligns with all aspects of our lives. One quote in particular stands out for me:
Failure is real. It’s one of the biggest guarantees we have in life. We will fail at something. So, why not embrace that understanding. Failure is supposed to happen. When we fail at something, we learn how to do it better the next time. This fear we hold on to of not wanting to fail is what we have to come to believe to be true.
2. We Fear We Aren't’ Good Enough
We are beyond afraid that when we actually step into the person we want to be, we won’t like them. We are afraid of just being ourselves and accepting who we truly. We don’t want to be seen because that would mean not being perfect at everything. It would mean not being liked. We fear these things because it means we aren’t good enough.
Start asking yourself these questions and listen to your answers:
What is good enough?
What are you comparing yourself to that you need to be “good enough” for?
What comes up for you?
Is what you think to be important really that important to you?
Can you justify this feeling of not being good enough anymore?
3. We Fear Getting What We Want
This fear may seem silly. Like come on who the heck is going to be afraid of getting what they have always wanted. However, this is real fear. When you get what you’ve wanted for a long time a couple of things can happen.
-You can feel excited and then empty that you’ve met your goal. You are left wondering what now.
-You start changing as a person which means people who love you may look at you differently.
-You get something but aren’t really sure that that’s what you wanted in the first place.
The reality is that getting what you want isn’t always easy and then adapting to having it comes with its own set of growing pains. However, we have been talking about stepping outside of our comfort zones. In order to get real change in our life, we have to be willing to get what we want.
We allow ourselves to have a loop of fearful thoughts running through our minds. If we can name these fears and embrace them we can start the process of moving past them in order to build a life we love.