Belated Happy Mother’s Day to all my readers.
Unfortunately, last week I was unable to blog. I hit my six month of pregnancy and caught a sinus infection. On the external, my husband had a broken tooth pulled, my mother had an appointment she needed support on and I still have a pre-schooler to care for. Whoa! What a week!
I’m so grateful to have most of the turbulence from last week settled and we are back to a calmer groove. The thing is life happens and sometimes it just happens all at once, which means there isn’t much you can do but hunker down and ride the wave. I made sure to find time for self-care (longer showers, essential oils and sleep were my best friends last week) but otherwise just focused on making sure everyone had what they needed. All of this led to Mother’s Day! Oh, I forgot to mention, my husband had to work on Saturday, so I my expectations for the Mother’s Day were really low. I don’t mean it in a depressing way but rather that the reality of the situation is that everyone was tired and holidays can be stressful. Stress was the last thing I wanted for Mother’s Day
So, when asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day I told my husband to sign up my mom and I to take a paint class (see the picture below). It was the first time my mother went to a paint class and she loved it!
The class was perfect. My mom and I spent two hours bonding, chatting and exploring our creative sides. We were able to truly relax on the day and do something that celebrated ourselves as moms. I went into the day with no other expectations than to take this one class and let the rest of the day flow as it should. The day turned out sooo much better than I could have imagined.
See, on previous Mother’s Day I spent the entire week leading up to it imagining all these scenarios where I would sleep in as late as possible, not have to care for my children and have my every desire met. Ha! Ha! Ha! The joke has been on me. Don’t get me wrong, I have to shout out my hubby for always putting in the effort to make me feel special on Mother’s Day and he almost always hits the mark. However, my husband can’t compete with my imagination. In my mind, I should have the most perfect of Mother’s Days and if I didn’t I would get visibly upset. Afterwards, I would wonder why I would react in this way and feel disgusted with myself. I mean, Mother’s Day is one day and life is still happening. I have a child to care for and no matter how hard daddy tries to keep him from me, he will still come to my bed at 7am to wake me up; that’s one of his ways to show me loves and wants to spend time with me.
This year, I made a point of going into Mother’s Day with a different mindset. See, I’ve gone through a lot of changes and have realized that my expectations of anything are just that, my expectations. I can’t expect everything to flow perfectly because life isn’t perfect.
I can’t expect everything to flow perfectly because life isn’t perfect.
So, as the entire week seemed to have unraveled with sickness, appointments, and others responsibilities I vowed to manage my expectation of Mother’s Day differently. My big shift was to focus on how I wanted to feel throughout the day. I knew if I could focus on those feelings and not on what I received my day would feel like magic.
I decided that I wanted to feel:
on Mother’s Day.
In order to make that happen, when asked what I wanted to do on Mother’s Day I asked for one thing. That one thing was my paint class. Taking that class would help me feel all those things and I would have a beautiful reminder of it to take home.
I didn’t have to spend the day managing my feelings, nor did I have to demand something grand to feel how I wanted. I want to celebrate and be celebrated as a mother and so I focused on this one thing to help me feel that way. My day turned out to be even better when hubby and kids, cooked breakfast and dinner for me and I didn’t have to wash a single dish. I slept like a baby that night!
So, here is my big revelation for you on managing expectations on Mother’s Day and any other big day you have coming up:
Focus on the feelings you want to experience throughout the day.
Ask for or do one thing that will help you feel that way. (sleeping in or catching up on your favorite shows, whatever makes the most sense for you on that day)
Let the rest of the day flow as it is meant to flow.
I would love to hear about your Mother’s Day and how you can shift your mindset so that the day becomes more aligned with your intended feelings for the day. Leave us a comment and share your story!
P.S. Here is a funny video I came across last week that will make you laugh. Just fun to share!